amanwomenlove:

Why write about something so delicate… so personal.  Well, first of all, in talking to both male and female friends, this is an issue.   Male friends are either terrified of this, OR they think they are gods at it.  Females… well… I have heard only one female claim her man was good at this. Secondly, you write about what you love.   ;)  So… I figured this might be helpful… and fun.   Guys, follow this process, and I promise you will be a man women love.

THE PROCESS: GIVING ORAL SEX TO A WOMAN

Rationale)  There are two reasons that the process of giving oral sex (aka. “giving head,” or “going down,” and technically known as cunnilingus) needs to be laid out.  First, many men are terrified of it, afraid they will be no good.   Secondly, the model that men use – pornography – is faulty.  Pornography is fantasy.  As such it portrays cunnilingus as something that is very physical, involving intense clitoral stimulation and a beating-style stimulation to the vaginal entry.  In reality, such stimulation during oral sex is unpleasant to most women.    Thus, a well-articulated process of how to “go down” on a woman would be beneficial.

Step 1) Foreplay.   Many men think that oral sex is foreplay.  It isn’t.  It’s a sexual act involving direct stimulation of the genitals.   Most women need to be prepared for that, i.e. need to be “in the mood.”  This begins with kissing.  Take some time to make out.  Keep this slower paced.  While kissing, let your hands roam her back, the back of her neck, her arms, and her buttocks.   Throughout the course of the “making out,” undress her, and yourself, slowly.   This is getting her mentally and emotionally ready for oral sex.   A helpful picture:  A woman is like an iron.   She heats up slowly.  But once hot, she stays hot.   Through the kissing portion, avoid stimulating her genital area.   Stimulating everything else but that area will increase her desire for what is about to come.

Step 2) Making your intensions known.  It might be understood that you will be having oral sex.  However, an abrupt transition from kissing to genital stimulation can be jarring.   You want it to be obvious, yet deliberate, in what is about to happen.  A good technique is “the kiss down.”  You are kissing.  Move to her neck.  Kiss it softly.  Then move to her shoulder/collarbone.   Kiss there.  Kiss your way slowly down her chest.  Stop at the nipples and stimulate them gently – light sucking, running your tongue around the nipple, etc.  Keep doing this until her nipples are fully erect.  Then kiss down her centerline, stopping momentarily to her your tongue prober he navel.  Kiss down below her navel, and along one of the arches of her hipbones.  Finally, kiss her pubic region.  If she has pubic hair, kiss around it.  If she’s shaved, kiss right above her vagina, on the soft area of skin known as themons pubis, or “pubic mound.”   If you have not yet done so, slide her underwear off at this time. 

 As you do all this, from time to time, look up at her.  Make eye contact.  Let her see in your eyes how much you are enjoying pleasuring her.   Through this process, you have made it crystal clear what your intensions are.  She’ll be ready… and eager!

Step 3) Positioning.   Obviously, there are dozens of possible positions you could use for oral sex.  But for starters, let’s focus on two.   The first is the basic “spread eagle” position, which works well in bed.  The woman lies on her back with her feet planted to either side of her partner, opening her to him.     The second is the “half-eagle” position, which works well on a couch.  The woman lays back, semi-reclined.  The man hitches her left leg over his right shoulder (or vice-versa).  With his nearest hand, he pushes the inner knee of the other leg to the side.  This position opens the woman up widely, and it provides the mean with the pleasurable sensation of her smooth inner thigh on the one side of his face.

Step 4) Stimulation with the tongue.   The first step of oral sex is the most important.  By now the woman is highly aroused.  Thus, the 8,000 nerve endings at the end of her clitoris are extremely sensitive.  Begin by taking your free hand and gently pressing the labia, opening her slightly.   The two tips of the labia merge above the vaginal opening in a small bump.  This is the clitoris.  It is possible it is under a small layer of skin – the clitoral hood – which you can bull back gently with your thumb.   When the clitoris is exposed, lick around it very gently with the tip of your tongue.  Allow it to become wet with your saliva.   The clitoris may enlarge somewhat.  (This is the female equivalent of getting an erection.  The clitoral tissue actually runs into the woman for about an inch, and when aroused, becomes engorged and rigid.)  

When you have her clitoral area wet, lay your tongue flat, like you are trying to touch the tip of your tongue to your chin.  Begin to lick her with long, slow strokes, beginning at the bottom of her vaginal opening, up along her labia, and then over her clitoris.  Her clitoris should run along the center line of your tongue.    While you do this, let your free hand roam her body:  stomach, chest, nipples, lips, etc.   

It is possible that the woman may have an orgasm just from clitoral stimulation.   You can tell she’s getting close by the following:  her breathing becomes deeper and more rapid; her pelvis tilts upward, like she’s trying to push into you;  her extremity muscles grow ridged, toes curling, fingers clenching and unclenching.   It is OK to have her finish this way.  But better is to back off.  Stop licking.  Kiss her inner thigh or her pubic mound again.   Let her cool off a bit, so that she doesn’t yet orgasm.   That allows you to move to internal stimulation. 

Step 5) Internal stimulation.   This is where pornography has led men astray.  Many men believe women like to have their vagina “pounded” by the man’s finger, simulating physical intercourse.  Wrong.   A poke-poke-poke sensation is not pleasurable to most women during oral sex.  Here’s what is preferred.    After a few minutes of clitoral stimulation (Although, you can do this as long as you want!) if she has not yet done so, the woman will have produced self-lubrication.   She’ll be “wet.”  Stop licking her.  Take one hand, palm up, and extend your index finger.  Slide it into her gently.  Curl it up, as though you were making a “come here” motion.  This will put your fingertip inside her vagina, facing upward.  Rub gently until you feel a raised, spongy patch of tissue, about the size of a dime.   This is what is known as the G-spot, a high sensitive erogenous zone.  Apply gentle pressure, pinning the G-spot between your fingertip and the pelvic bone that lies just outside her vaginal wall.  Draw slow circles on it, almost like you were trying to move a pea around on a table.   

While you stimulate her internally, you can continue to stimulate her clitoris gently with the tip of her tongue.   (In fact, some studies have indicated that the clitoris and g-spot might be connected by long, fine nerves.)  

Step 6) Finishing her: the orgasm.    The signs of an impending orgasm were described in stop 4.  After performing step five, it will likely not be long before you see those signs again.  You can back off, withdraw your finger, and go back to only oral stimulation, prolonging the process.  Or you can keep on going and finish her.  

If you chose to finish her, here’s a simple way.  As she tilts her hips towards you, place your upper lip over her clitoris.  By now it should be very firm.  Suck on it firmly for 5 to 10 seconds.  (No teeth!)   Then while you continue to keep your upper lip over her clitoris, stick your tongue as deeply into her vaginal opening as you can.  Flick the tip of your tongue upward, along the upper interior vaginal a wall.  As you do all this, make a very soft humming sound in your throat.  The vibration will travel through your jaw bones and taught muscles.  It will cause a tingly sensation both on her clit, which is pressed under your upper lip, and inside her.   She will cum soon.   Her hips will perhaps try and buck.  Hold them firmly in your hands, so that your mouth, lips, and tongue stay in place.  

When she cums, it will be deep and intense, since stimulation came from both the g-spot and her clitoris.  These will be highly sensitive for a minute or two.   Avoid contact with them until the nerves reset.   

Caveat)  I don’t intend for this to be the only way oral sex can be performed.   The best thing to do is be open and communicative.   Ask her what she likes and do it. I just wanted to provide one way that has been proven to rock a woman’s world.  

Conclusion)  As mentioned earlier, woman is like an iron.  Now that she is hot, she will remain hot.  Subsequent orgasms through regular intercourse are now more likely, though not guaranteed.